Antis
“Antis is about my journey of taking my mental health seriously. There’s a lot of confusion, self love, self hatred, and self discovery in this song. ”
"Antis" is about my early days on antidepressants and the struggle to get a handle on my mental health. It captures the messy journey of navigating therapy and medication trials. The intro mixes anxiety-inducing sounds like DM pings and dial tones, reflecting how overwhelming being connected feels to me—and to many of us. This track marks the first time I've opened up so honestly about my mental health, showing how I went from denial to confronting the reality of needing help.
About the song
Lyrics
Someone says a joke, and it’s funny so I laugh, but I didn’t feel it
My ex hit me up so I cried but I didn’t mean it
And I think that I kinda like this not really feeling
Antis got me some type of way
I’m floating up in space
Nobody’s real this way
I might be not okay
But it doesn’t feel that way when I medicate
Now it’s been a while since I tried to let out all the pain through bleeding
Think this is a first, a full night of me truly sleeping
Yeah I miss the highs, but I’m scared to feel all my feelings
Antis got to go some day
I’m floating up in space
Nobody’s real this way
I might be not okay
But it doesn’t feel that way when I medicate
I’m hoping with therapy
My mind will stop hating me
I might be fine one day
But it doesn’t feel that way when I medicate
It doesn’t feel that way, it doesn’t feel that way
It doesn’t feel that way, it doesn’t feel that way
I’m floating up in space
Nobody’s real this way
I might be not okay
But it doesn’t feel that way when I medicate
I’m hoping with therapy
My mind will stop hating me
I might be fine one day
But it doesn’t feel that way when I medicate
